Because you're awesome.

Monday, March 30, 2009

DEAR KELLEE


I think I'll call you, what time is it there? 5 a.m. Dammit. I feel like talking, it's not important I just feel like bitchin'. You are my favorite person to bitch to, hope you don't mind. It's nothing particular, just the regular stuff, family mostly. Plus I like to check to make sure that your kids are still driving you crazy and your life is hectic and your house is clean. It's sort of reassuring to me, like, "oh good, her life is normal so mine must be too". It's too bad David is still gone - it makes me feel bad if I bitch about Sam (it's too bad for you too, of course). I was also hoping that maybe you put on a couple of pounds since Fin weaned. I mean not really, cuz I'm not hatin' on the skinny and you deserve a few things in life that you don't have to work that hard at. But, still. Plus we just haven't had a long chat for a while. I picked up the phone to call you this morning then I realized you were probably in the middle of teaching your class, so I was going to have to find another way to delay my work-out. Man, why does it have to be five a.m. there. At least when we both lived on the east coast we were in the same time zone. Maybe if we can't live in the same town any time soon we should shoot for the same time zone again. I was thinking that it would be nice if I could have Gabriel call you with his more difficult questions like whether or not penises and vagina's are friends and if boys have nipples why not boobies too? It's fun being a mom. I was just realizing too that if life followed any sort of rules I was supposed to be there right now. Just think about how many times I could have made you laugh so hard that you peed a little. I guess it'll have to wait until summer.... suck. Oh well, at least we have Facebook, totally not the same though. Well, I hope that you at least get to sleep for a couple more hours before the madness begins. Kiss the boys for me, give them raspberries and nougies too, just so they know it's from me. I miss you.

Love, sis

Thursday, March 5, 2009

WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS





210?!?!?!?!? No freakin' way! 198 at most but not 210 - only fatties are more than 200 and I might be "plump" but I'm no fattie. Well, I am in my super emergency fat pants and they are tight. And I busted the seams on the arms of a couple of shirts. And the neighbor kid asked me if I was pregnant (or did I have another boobie on my tummy). And I started snoring. SNORING!!! Only fatties snore, fatties and old men. And I can't take the stairs without being winded, or chase after Gabriel, or have sex - without being winded. Only fatties can't chase their kids.

Oh, crap..........................

I'm a fattie. I have a wobbly hippo bum. My clothes don't fit. I eat a lot of ice cream, and fries, and sour cream and well, pretty much whatever I want all the time. Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!

I can't believe I let this happen, but I let this happen. Me, me, me, me, me, I let this happen.

So what will I do this time? Low carb? Low fat? All cereal? No meat? Vegan? What will the yo-yo be this time?

Oh, I'm so tired of it. Off and on, and off and on, and off and on without end. Well, that's enough of that. Time to make a choice:
Diabetes, heart disease, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, giant super size pants or.....
Self control, exercise, longevity, shopping at "normal" stores, happiness with mirrors and photos, keeping up with the kid, better sex...

I'm choosing the second because I'm tired of the first. Tired, tired, tired.

This time, though, I'll do it different. This time I'll get a little help. Help from some experts, some drugs and some self control. The key will be the self control. A doctor, a nutritionist and some skinny nurses. Oh, and exercise. You know that old stand-by, exercise. Swimming, walking and Wii Fit.

It's gonna happen this time because it has to happen. It has to.

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Monterey, California
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